Life: Teaching, Traveling, Serving Jesus and more

  2023 was a year of grief, stress, pain, growth, and sweet moments. Each year, I choose a word that I want to work on. 2023 my word was intentional, and I was more intentional in 2023. It wasn't my best year, but one for the books. Grief 2023 brought grief, which seems to never end. The older I get, the more I feel like we are constantly grieving another loss. In 2022, my cousin Esaq passed away. In 2023, my uncle John passed away.  My uncle had been sick for many years with cancer, but his health really deteriorated in 2023. He was ill a lot, and my aunt was stretched trying to care for him and also be present for my cousin.  This summer also brought the deterioration of my uncle's health. The medicine they were giving him to help with the cancer wasn't helping his quality of life. So, he made the decision in July to stop treatment. This was the right decision for him. I remember sitting in church on Sunday, July 30, and my mom texted me saying they were headed here bec...

 This winter and spring were a season of ups and downs. Many things in life felt hard for me. My anxiety was getting to a point where I was really struggling. I finally took the steps to begin taking medicine for my anxiety. It hasn't been easy and at first, I was embarrassed that I needed to take something to help me. My journey with my anxiety has been just that a journey that has ups and downs. I did see an improvement once I started taking medication. Also continuing with therapy has been so helpful.  I do know that I am not healed completely from what I went through in my marriage. There are days and times that I get triggered and I feel like I am right back in it. Those moments are some of the hardest for me. I found this winter to be pretty hard for me. I was triggered a couple times and honestly, I went blank like couldn't finish my sentence. Looking back at those times reminds me that healing doesn't have a timeline and it isn't linear. It's more like a rol...

Where to begin... Looking back at 2022 there was so much pain, growth, and change. It was not my best year but I know it could have been worse. 2022 brought so much change in my life that at times it was hard to breathe. I don't like change I love routines and structures and 2022 was filled with changes. Change 2022 was a year of change. I knew that it would be and I knew that would be a struggle for me. So many things were going to change from my job to my home and those were big things but also things I could plan for and prepare for.  However 2022 brought more change that just that. Things I though would change didn't change. Other things that I didn't think would change did. There are have been so many days where there were more tears than my eyes were dry. The changes that happened were not always easy for me.  I felt called into more of a leadership role in my career and that change while it is something I know that I was called to was still hard. I decided to stay fo...

(This is a late post and I wasn't sure I really wanted to share it. It is from August 28)  11 years ago I was living a dream. It was my wedding day and all the plans and preparation had been done. The weather was beautiful and it was everything I imagined it would be. However this morning I woke up in full on tears. That dream day was amazing as weddings are magical. Sadly after the wedding came the reality of marriage and it was hard. There were so many days of feeling unworthy and not good enough. That I wasn't enough for this person who had stood in front of 150 people and said that he loved me and wanted to be with me forever. Promises were made that were never kept. The pain is still very real even almost 8 years later. Every year on this date I wonder if it will ever hurt less or if the pain will ever go away. The pain feels incredibly real today when I woke up crying. I knew exactly what the tears were from. As much as I know that pain comes when healing is happening I s...

  About 9 months ago after service had ended at church a lad came up to me and said, " I don't know if this is for you but I felt God asking me to tell you to do that thing that has been on your heart." At the time I didn't exactly know what she was referring to. However in the last 9 months I have had that thought in my head. I have prayed over that asking God what He wants me to do. It needs to be of Him and for Him. Last school year was hard but I know that it was all a part of God's plan for me. He was preparing me for what I am calling my "Esther Season". I have always loved the book of Esther in the bible and how brave and courageous she was. Also how faithful she was to the calling on her life. Towards the end of last school year. I was tired and life was very much out of my control. But all summer I knew God was preparing me to enter my Esther season. I wear a bracelet with the reminder that I was born for such a time as this. I get to enter my E...

 In June we finally took the trip to Disney that I had been wanting to take for a couple years. I have always loved going to Disney. We did a 4 day trip with 2 days at the parks. We chose a hotel that was near the park but we also rented a car and drove to the park each day. We purchased Genie+ and it was definitely worth it. For me the trip was about doing as many rides as we could but also eating all the good food. On our first day at the parks we went to California Adventure. We used Genie+ to get on our favorite rides like Soaring Around the World, Toy Story Mania and Radiator Springs Racer. We mobile ordered all of our meals as we didn't have to wait in any lines that way. There were so many good things to eat and the rides are always fun! Some of our favorite food were the Birria Tacos, Popping Particle punch from Pym's Test Kitchen (see photo), the fluffernutter churro was not as good as I had hoped it would be. It was too sweet and the peanut butter didn't do it for...